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"No hard feelings—no regrets," he said out loud. Did he say it to himself, or to God? He was not sure. He thought about making contact with the local parish. He hadn't confessed or received communion since he left the Order. That would be complicated, since he had to fit his activities with Vicki into that scenario. If he confessed it, he knew that a condition of absolution would be to cease committing the sin. He would not promise to 'avoid the near occasions of that sin' if he did not mean it. He would not omit confessing it either, throwing little sins to the confessor like bones to a dog. Better to bear this sin than blasphemy. One can lie to oneself, but not to God.He thought more about his deeds with Vicki. Perhaps it was no sin—nothing to confess. It was like Nathan's admonition to keep his own business to himself. He would think about this and if he came to believe it he would confess and take communion.The sound of his pasta water boiling over onto the burner pierced his. There'd been a time, and not too long ago at that, when he wouldn't have cared. The freeway smash that had robbed him of Betty and the kids had made everything seem pointless. A desperate attempt at alcoholic oblivion hadn't helped, either. It had only drained his small savings account, damaged his health, and nearly cost him his job. At last, intrigued by an article he'd come across in an old science fiction magazine, he'd chanced onto a study of obscure magnetic effects and gradually become absorbed in its ramifications.The bloated orange sun was almost down. Neal kept an eye out for a place to hole up until morning. He didn't like the looks of the banked clouds that were building up behind him, either."It can't be too much farther to my portal," he kept telling himself, but there was no sign of it in the fading light. He was plodding along tiredly past an outcropping of boulders, his feet almost too heavy to lift, when he finally called it quits. Taking a careful bearing on the.
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